A Broken Resolution

ST. MACARIUS OF OPTINO

And do not agitate yourself over your resolution to read a litany daily at a fixed hour: this resolution which, you say, you now find impossible to carry out. To your question, “When it has been quite impossible to do so at the appointed hour, may I read it later, while knitting and minding the children?” I answer: No! this would be quite wrong. Our pledges are not debts owed to a harsh master who wants them carried out to the letter and cares for little else. The Lord does not wish to enslave us. He wants us free.

When you really cannot carry out a resolution, make penance, thinking of yourself as a humbled debtor. If you then refrain from the temptation of feeling agitated, it will be of greater profit than halfhearted mumblings followed by self-satisfaction and the pride of having kept your pledge in spite of all difficulties.

[…..] And so your good intentions have been frustrated by forces entirely outside your control. In the hard days to come, keep constantly in mind that God knows well how firm was your resolution, how keen your eagerness to act; and He may record your intention as having the value of an accomplished fact. He is particularly likely to do so if your humility remains quick, if it does not wither under the winds of adversity. Remember, too, that your careful tending of your humility can alone bring you consolation and peace.

Russian Letters of Direction (pp. 38,39,42)
Translated by Iulia de Beausobre